a moment you feel so happy, and great, the next you feel so shitty.
a moment you feel like smiling, and of course, i mean, you did smile, but the next moment, you feel like a hypocrite.
a moment you feel like being an honest person, the next you hate what you said.
they say to suck our life up. but they didn't tell us how to.
they say, ignore it, but can we?
The worst part is, you smiled but you know you didn't meant it. you laugh but you didin't find it funny at all. no, the worst part is, you want to get mad, you want to curse and everything bad, that you think can get it all out off of your heart, off your head, but you just couldn't do that.
You feel so fucked up, messed up, but you know you can't let it out. you can't scream your head out, you said to yourself, "I shouldn't". Why? because you know, people hated that. you don't want to get hated on. pfft, you said to yourself that you shouldn't care what people say, yep, you act like you didn't care but deep inside your fucking heart, you know you aren't.
hahaha, the funniest thing is, this "you" I've been talking about is actually me. yeah... yeah.. I know it's not that surprising. idk, i hope I'm not alone, haha, I'm sorry, its not that Im praying or hoping bad things to happen to other person, but I hope that someone can find this relatable. im not special after all.
shitty life, im not looking forward for you. well, i'm not considering to end this shitty life, at least not now. i know, i know it is a sin. huh, dude tell me about it. i'm an expert on sins study. hahaha.
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