eaJ-Pacman and a very short letter for my future husband.

Yo I'm not even gonna analyze this I would ruin the perfection of this song.
just like, go listen to this.
I'm soooooooooooo stunned with the high notes. like, Jae is not someone who do high notes that much. i mean, he can, but i didn't hear it enough.
like bitchhhhhh, this is holy!
i, literally screamed when he was screaming.
when he went "ooooooo" i was wwoooohooooooo gedit jaeeeeeeeeee ma mannnnnn
like seriously, i love him so much. bruh.
the lyrics is soooo fckin deep. and the melodies. and his voice. and everything!

right, here's the lyrics;

Loving you's just getting harder and harder to do Cause my head says no but my phone keeps calling you And you never pick up unless you’ve got nothing to do But you say that you want me Much as I want you Over and over Like it's Red rover Will your games ever be through Play me over and over Pacman and lover Hoping you run out of quarters soon Don't hurt me Leave me No I don't mean that Love me all the way to death Oh it's killing me how Fear is holding me down But I wanna hold you Oh I might burn to the ground But see me burn with a smile If I die it's with you

for my future husband, i'm sorry if i love him as much as i love you. i mean, i love many other people as much as i love you. i pray i can decrease the love for others when i meet you someday, or if i ever find someone, cuz dude, let's get real, it's seems impossible. haha.

Shitty Life

How, can a life be so shitty?
a moment you feel so happy, and great, the next you feel so shitty.
a moment you feel like smiling, and of course, i mean, you did smile, but the next moment, you feel like a hypocrite.
a moment you feel like being an honest person, the next you hate what you said.
they say to suck our life up. but they didn't tell us how to.
they say, ignore it, but can we?

The worst part is, you smiled but you know you didn't meant it. you laugh but you didin't find it funny at all. no, the worst part is, you want to get mad, you want to curse and everything bad, that you think can get it all out off of your heart, off your head, but you just couldn't do that.

You feel so fucked up, messed up, but you know you can't let it out. you can't scream your head out, you said to yourself, "I shouldn't". Why? because you know, people hated that. you don't want to get hated on. pfft, you said to yourself that you shouldn't care what people say, yep, you act like you didn't care but deep inside your fucking heart, you know you aren't.

hahaha, the funniest thing is, this "you" I've been talking about is actually me. yeah... yeah.. I know it's not that surprising. idk, i hope I'm not alone, haha, I'm sorry, its not that Im praying or hoping bad things to happen to other person, but I hope that someone can find this relatable. im not special after all.

shitty life, im not looking forward for you. well, i'm not considering to end this shitty life, at least not now. i know, i know it is a sin. huh, dude tell me about it. i'm an expert on sins study. hahaha.

Love

Love is beautiful right? 

It makes you smile,

It makes you happy,

It can be painful sometimes,

It gives you responsibilities,

But most of the time,

It gives you something to be proud at,

To be proud of your feeling,

To be proud that you can love someone other than yourself,

To be always reminded that you should love yourself first too.

And the most important thing is,

It makes your heart flutters and gives your stomach butterflies.

I love love.