HATING MYSELF

oh god, i am sooooo in hate with myself. i hate myself for not stopping my bad doings. i hate it damn much. how can i stop it? i've searched about it everwhere, i've found he answer. i've succeed for a few times and then i started to do t again. whyyyy???. relapse relapse damn relapse. i hate it. i hate myself. i know that it is wrong. but i'm doing it over and over again. i heard that people tend to do things that they know are bad for theirselves. things that are wrong. and they keep doin it. just like me. i am the best example of it.

goshhhhhh how can i avoid myself from doing it? how?!!!!! please. it's like i can't breath if i don't do it. when, obviously i can easily breath. i've started to make it as a part of my life. i'll be uncomfortable if i don't do it. i know, there are people out there that have faced situation like this. and i envy the one who got through this. i know that it wasn't easy to handle this "drug". but they still fight or their own good. and that is good. i mean that is the best!

seriously, i need to stop this, this is so wrong but i keep repeating it like a slave. mental slave. sh*t, this ain't right. because if i don't i'll be damned.